A situationship is basically a pseudo-relationship. A placebo masking itself as a formative relationship. It smells like a relationship, it sorta looks like a relationship, and it may even feel like one, but it’s not. Urban Dictionary describes a situationship as any problematic relationship characterized by one or more unresolved, interpersonal conflicts. usually confused with dating. The overall dating climate is changing and formalities are harder to find. Instead there’s this awkward meandering through something that feels like something that leads to sex that may or may not be something that continues for a time until one party wants to make it an official something.
1. You don’t have a title.
You don’t even know what to call them when confronted with situations of introduction or mere mention. You may not even be sure if you can call them a friend. As a result you frequently find yourself fumbling to find words to describe their status or gazing off into space as you try to find the words to delineate your relationship. “I mean we’re not really…I mean not really friends, but it’s not like we’re just f&#K buddies either…. I mean we definitely care for each other and there’s a mutual respect….We’re kinda just taking it slow you know.” Eventually one of you will grow weary of the ambiguity and ask, “so where is this going?” To which you would both pretend to be on the same page, whatever page that may be.
2. You have “half a man is better than no man” thoughts of resolve.
You’ve come to the resolve that he/she isn’t really the one for you but hey, “you’ll hang with mr/ms right now until the real deal comes along.” In other words you’re just in this because you’re lonely but the minute something better comes along you’re out of there. You may even convince yourself from time to time that if push comes to shove this could probably work. “There’s some potential here, right?”
3. Your main means of communication is texting.
One of the best things about blackberries was that you never had to give out your number. You could exchange pins and be sure that the only way someone could reach you was via text. If things escalated, you could thereafter choose whether or not to exchange numbers. Now that Research In Motion/Blackberry Limited has pretty much plummeted we’ve gone back to that archaic means of exchanging numbers. But not to fret, you guys don’t really talk on the phone anyway. Your exchange is limited and chances are the most frequently visited topic of discussion leads to sex.
4. Your closest friends haven’t purposefully met.
That’s mostly because there’s no eagerness to show each other off. Not to worry, that’s not necessarily a reflection on either of you. A lack of titles will do that to any situation. No one wants to really show someone off who may potentially be a no-one in a matter of days. That doesn’t mean you’ll be hidden. In fact you would have most likely met each other’s friends but in the most casual haphazard ways, you are after all kinda sorta friends. There’s also a silent wager between you two in which no one wants to be the first to ruin a perfectly good thing. I mean, why ruin how cool things are between you with childlike questions like, “I like you. Do you like me?”
5. Your friends, mom, coworkers know more about how you spent your day than they do.
Even if you want to, you probably won’t call them first. After all, one of the best things about your situationship is how light and uncomplicated it is. It may be a subconscious effort but chances are the heavier stuff in your day-to-day continues to be shared with those who came before your “whatever he or she is.”
6. The sex is mind-boggling.
Mind blowing sex is often what keeps the perplexing nature of a situationship going. Besides the intermittent cure for loneliness, there’s often an addictive and/or readily available body part involved. If you’ve found yourself constantly asking, “Why am I putting up with this?” And can’t seem to wrap your head around the answer, chances are the sex has a lot to do with it.
7. There are no pictures of you in any public setting.
Situationships often last as long as they do merely because neither party is quite prepared to let go of that semblance of something. Being in a situationship is not the same as being a friend with benefits. There’s an actual lurking potential for a relationship that may very well materialize. As a result, you would have probably taken quite a few pictures together in compromising and uncompromising positions. However, it’s most likely that you won’t find that picture on his or her Whatsapp, Facebook or Instagram profile.
8. They’ve attended wedding(s) alone since you’ve been involved.
Wedding plus-ones can be a pretty big deal. For the most part, plus-ones aren’t as easily dealt anymore (plates are getting pretty expensive) and families/friends are so snoopy that singles may hesitate to bring a date to such an intimate event. Unless there’s some long-term potential there most would opt to go alone. If the engaged don’t know your significance they clearly won’t be inclined to share their day with you. If the person you’re involved with doesn’t know your significance either they won’t want to speed things up or give you the wrong idea by asking you to accompany them to a wedding. This goes hand in hand in with more or less any intimate occasion/setting.
9. You’re living that vampire life.
If you take the time to reflect, you may find that most of the time you’ve spent together is in a closed setting and/or mostly at night. You’re either at his place or she’s at yours and there’s hardly ever anyone else around. There are no welcomed surprise visits and while you may spend the night, none of your things will.
Cover Image courtesy of blackloveadvice.com