So as it turns out, loneliness won’t kill you, not literally at least.
Societal boundaries pigeonholed us to so many random and uncompromising norms. One of which, is that whole marriage and kids thing. Fret not, this is not one of those posts that lectures you on the importance of not conforming to social norms. No, this post is not about living your life as if each day was your last, nor is it about changing your perception and appreciating your current situation. I could go on and on about notions of autosuggestion, how good things come to those who wait and that nothing happens before it’s time. I’d be right, and you know it. But honestly, on Sunday afternoons when your laying in bed, wishing the left side was crowded with something a little warmer than pillows, that’s the last thing you want to hear.
The most foolish of us know nothing happens before its time.We also know that means diddly when it appears EVERYONE you know is damn near betrothed or seems oooh so happy. One would think that when feelings of melancholy are donned upon us, we would seek out uppers ( in the metaphorical sense of course). But we don’t, we look for reasons to revel in the gloom. We dust off the old Notebook blue-ray, scrape the frost bite off an old tub of ice cream and initiate full on “I’m feeling sorry for myself” conversations via whatsapp.
So how does one survive the loneliness.
Just Say NO!First things first-and I learnt this the hard way- step away from the social media. The only thing worse than wallowing in your own self pity is adding fuel to the fire by browsing through the countless usies, wedding pics, travel pics, the “look what my man bought me” pics, and the “killer view from our room pics.” These are skewed snips of a persons entire life. The average sane person doesn’t plaster pictures of themselves or their relationship at its worst. So don’t waste time envying something you know nothing about.
Just feel it. Cry it out, go HAM on the take-out, let it all out, then let it go. It will subside if you embrace it. Masking feelings with overt distractions only prolongs the inevitable. Going out to the hottest club at your friends advice will somehow, at about 3am, remind you how lonely you are. Acceptance is truly an essential step, embrace it.
Write About It. Journaling is a highly therapeutic tool and can make sifting through emotions a productive exercise. Penning your feelings will lead to an outpouring of thoughts that often results in some sort of resolve.
Show Up. While masking your feelings is not something I would encourage, retreating is certainly not the alternative. Allowing yourself to feel does come with a time constraint. Wallowing should not hinder your overall productivity. If you’ve already made plans stick to them and don’t just show up, be present. The only thing worse than not having a good time is ruining everyone else’s.
Redirect your Energy. Never allow yourself more than a day to feel like shit. And now to contradict myself, even a day is too long. That’s a possible 24 hours of productivity that have been wasted. Time can never be regained. Don’t allow your sadness to take you an entire day farther from your potential epicness.
Being single is actually pretty awesome ……most of the time. It sucks that we are so innately incapable of appreciating what we have until it’s gone. It’s hard to believe it now, but there will come a time when you’ll long to be alone. A time when you will long to spend that quiet Sunday afternoon alone in bed. And i lied. It is important to live as though your time on this earth is limited (because it is). If feeling lonely is your greatest hang up -on any given day- chances are life’s pretty good.
It’s easy to lose time; to merely exist while we wait.To miss hours and days of potential greatness because we are so taken by anticipation. Self development is increasingly difficult with distraction. Use this time to explore and acquire. When you meet the right person, you undoubtedly become the best version of yourself. How far would you have come when you get there?
We’d all like to fall in love for the last time. For those who are forced to wait a little longer, be sure to make that time count.
Cover Image Courtesy of Ipacksixpack.com