Mamma told you not to begrudge others. She said, “do not be envious or resent persons for what they may have.” You, are not a hater. You are grateful for what you have and know all you deserve will be earned in due time. You’ve walked on the straight and narrow, kept your legs closed…for the most part…well at least far more than most. You haven’t slept with anyone’s husband…not knowingly at least, and you don’t spend your weekend nights making a motor coach out of your mattress. You work hard to earn your coins and cringe at the idea of using someone else for financial support. You, are a good girl! Pat yourself on the back you person with awesome values you! Your morals are all the way turnt up. You have lived the steadfast, societally pigeon-held life and are ripe to receive her awards. You will most certainly meet the man of your dreams at the tender but mature age of 26 and go on to live that “grass-aint-greener-on-the-other-side life” in no time.

Buuuut, you won’t.

Instead, you’ll quickly come to grips with the fact that it doesn’t matter. You’ll find, that while good girls don’t necessarily finish last, being a good girl doesn’t mean you’ll even place. That’s where the undisclosed resentment comes in. You’ll  slowly come down with small bouts of HATEoria. Showing symptoms that prevent you from watching shows, like Bravo’s Don’t Be Tardy. A program that celebrates the lavish life of a once home wrecker, co-parent of 3 baby fathers, chain-smoking, potty mouth. While you meagerly attempt to repress your annoyance, you’ll find yourself in water-cooler conversations with other women, candidly stating, “it’s not fair.” How can a person live such a reckless gold digging life and end up exactly where he/she always set out to be? 

The Formula

It’s a simple formula really. It comes down to living your life for you and/or those closest to you only.Those who live life without a sense of consequence often fare quite well. They are more concerned about how they feel about themselves than they are with what others perceive of them. In Jamaica, we encourage persons to just “cut and go through” turbulent times. It’s a saying meant to influence a person to stay steadfast on their journey; to not lose sight of their end goal and ignore the fields of doubt around them. Mothers will often offer great lifelong advice, but times as they always have, continue to change. One can no longer expect to gain a certain result from living according to an obsolete formula. The most sustaining blue print to this life is to simply do things that make you feel content about who you are. Pay no mind to anyone else, even those who are adamant spectators and critics of your life. Don’t hate on the thriving “whore” because you found out you could have very well been a whore your whole life too. Remember, “puss and dog don’t have the same luck.”

Now I’m not suggesting that one go out and be promiscuous. In fact, I am not sure it’s fair to refer to anyone as a whore. What I am suggesting, is not getting trapped by labels. Living your life a certain way can no longer be expected to yield an automatic result. Do not preoccupy yourself with even semblances of resentment, as they only keep you farther away from your reward. No one is more deserving of happiness than another. Brownie points for good behavior don’t exist. If you’re not doing the “right thing”  for the “right reasons” then don’t expect to reap the same rewards.

Featured image credit to ifelicious.com