1. Swap Helper Stories

Not until just about the 5th share will you realize….eh this conversation is beginning to sound a wee bit pretentious. Ye, I’ll pass.


2. The my private elitist school is sooo much better than your private elitist school debate

Even in my 30s, circa 15 years after I’ve graduated, I’m still getting pulled into these ridiculous Immaculate versus Campion versus Andrews banters. All our shits can make patty, okaaaay!


3. There’s Kingston….and then there’s Country

Uptowners are literally only aware of their direct surroundings. Even St. Andrew is more or less bunched in there with Kingston. Thereafter there’s Spanish Town, Ochi, Negril, Mobay and Country. Wait, we’re gong where…wait, what?


4. Almost always mention the promoters more than the party

Are you going to Sunsets on the Bay? That’s Chris’ party right…..Sigh, Mmhmm (Wtf does that matter???)


5. Oh, I can’t believe you didn’t know this thing that’s such common knowledge to the rest of us

Where’s blue hole?  What! You haven’t been to blue hole? Like, everyone’s been there…..Yeah, so where is it?  This also aligns with the I heard it first dose of pretense. I can’t wait for the X-files reboot! Oh yeah, I heard about that two months ago on radaronline


6. I am so over these parties where people just go and stand up

…..She said, while putting on her best wallflower impression


7. I was so into _____ before dem come common up di ting

Remember when coach was the in thing…Just like that, ‘them’ common up the thing. Now I don’t even wear coach anymore.


8. Complain

Unwarranted complaining is a very big part of appearing elitist. The Michelin star rated restaurant is just so not all it’s hyped up to be. I mean I didn’t even get a straw. It’s just average if you ask me.


Can you think of any we missed?

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