It’s not easily habitable, the space between a rock and a hard place. Feeling like the cloak of your heel is wedged and you know what to do, but you just can’t get yourself to do it. You’re not exercising the discipline, you don’t have the faith. You can’t come to grips with the fact that you dont believe in yourself as much as you used to. Your dreams are big now, and they’re absolutely terrifying. You’ve pinned so much of your identity to the future you often dare to imagine for yourself, that should you fail to achieve it, it would break your heart. In fact, you may not recover from the personal let down such a failure would bring. Your obliterated pride simply would not survive it, right?
So you stay stuck, wedged in a tiny, emotionally suffocating place because it’s familiar. Because you’re used to it or because, “meh, when alls said and done, it aint so bad.” Other people are far worse off than you. You have achieved things other people can only dream of. You are your mothers/fathers/grandmothers American dream. You’re blessed. Why can’t you be satisfied? What’s so wrong with all you have now? Why are you so ungrateful?
Sometimes humility, especially that which is derived from growing up with humble beginnings, can stifle how big we allow ourselves to dream. We set these imaginary boundaries on wealth and prosperity, careful not to want too much or to be too greedy. In our acknowledgement and/or pursuit of gratitude we set limits on how far we will allow our dreams to go. Everyday we second guess what we deserve, downplay or wants, or dull the shine of the audacity of our dreams, is the equivalent to a day without watering a healthy and promising seed. And so, a day passes, then another day, and another, and our dream slowly dies, sadly for some- without ever making it to the surface.
Can you be grateful for what you have now; truly grateful and still want in excess of what you claim to be so grateful for? How do you decipher ambition from greed? Why cant you be satisfied? There are so many others less fortunate than you. What is your problem?
Well, I’m gonna tell you what your problem is. You are literally stuck between being great and grateful. There is a seed planted within you and its only limit for potential is it’s chronic, self-doubting, faithless host. Everyone is not compelled to greatness. Everyone does not have the burning, splitting discomfort within them that says I can do so much better than this! Everyone doesn’t want the lifestyle that nudges at you, and says, “I dunno, I just feel like there’s more in store for me.” Everyone’s idea of financial freedom will not be in set with yours. And everyone doesn’t listen to themselves. Most of us won’t water the plants of our ambitions because we are perhaps lazy, undisciplined, egotistical or worst of all, because we don’t believe in ourselves. We judge our potential by our current surroundings and are too quick to find comfort in our current state.
There are people at your work place who are living their dream. They are in their dream jobs and happy almost everyday to be there. There are people living in your town who think it’s the absolute Bees Knees. There is no place better than where they live, and they couldn’t begin to imagine themselves anywhere else. They are living fulfilling lives occupying the same space that you’re in. So why aren’t you satisfied? Because you don’t belong there. That space is not going to fulfill you, because you are too big for it. It’s too tight for you, and the longer you stay in it, the more suffocating it will become.
It’s hard to leave the familiar behind. It can even feel foolish to leave comfort for uncertainty, but I assure you, it will only get worse if you stay. Channel your inner strength and truly evaluate the worst that can happen. It’s never as bad as we make it out to be. I promise you, the same tools that got you that job you can’t stand anymore will be able to eventually land you another one (if all else fails). Take a chance. You only have two choices; either you take the plunge or live an unfulfilling life.